11:58PM 27/11/2009

I could fly my way up touching the skies without having any wings. For all the fights and the tears that fall from your sparkling eyes, i'm terribly sorry for doing that darling.

For all the hurtful words that strikes you on your heart like a sharp knife stabbed you in the heart, I'm down on my knees asking for forgiveness from you, trying not to repeat the same mistakes I did to you once more. For all the misunderstanding which makes you thought that I'm cheating behind your back, please don't think of me that way. I'm not the type of person that cheats behind your back. I'm so lucky to have an amazing girl in my life and for that I wouldn't want to leave or even go for other girls.

There's nothing better than having you out here in this world, a person with such a beautiful smile, awesome characteristic, and amazing heart to be love, I rather just stick with you and only you. For all the laughter and the beautiful smiles that you craft on my face, words can't describe how much I thank you and appreciate for all the things you've done for me.

For all the love that we've shared together, I'd never want it to fade away or even disappear. All I want is for us to make our love bonds stronger each moment. Doesn't matter if its better or worst situation, I'll still love you as much as how I first said "I love you".

This is my best and greatest relationship ever in my life. No doubt that I have no regrets of being part of your life and let you be part of my life. I'll promise you that I could make our relationship to go on more than 4th months until the last air we breath in this atmosphere but with your permission to let me do that, I need you to do the same thing

I'm doing right now so that you and I could go more than we could imagine in our life. Every time I look at our pictures It makes me misses you so much that sometimes I could cry myself to sleep.

Every night before I went to bed i would say good night darling i love you so much. I would never miss every night giving kisses to your fore head, cheeks, my favourite mushroom nose and lips before you're off to sleep

The ring i gave to you does not cost more but your heart i fall for costs more than mine as for it is the most expensive and rarest heart anyone could ever find. Nothing from you to be done for that i want, but to be love by you every second is worth my time of living by yourside forever.

I'm hoping the ring will be the first part of sealing us both in this miracle love story written by both of us.

IloveyoualwaysNurainAfiza,

TheodoreLoveNurain

Thanks Roxy!

Why thanks roxy??
Its actually nothing to be thankful to.

She wanted it so badly and planned to get a shoe she wanted a month ago but after our last visit to both roxy in wisma and 1 Borneo, her heart crushed! She felt hurt for the things she wanted was not available in her size and that is totally fuck up!!!

Thanks Roxy for ruining her night and as well as mine!! Her mood totally changed to anger which i couldn't even comfort her or atleast calm her down! Why did this happened?? I hated when something she wanted badly gone, and i was left ignorance just because of that!! I want her to have what she really wanted. This suppose to make her feel happy once she got that shoe she love but it has turn to the opposite. FUCK!!!

She wouldn't even care about me after the first visit. I never wanted this to happened!! When she left she doesn't event bother or has the passion to hug me fully, it's like she does not want to be touch or to start a conversation. It has totally crushed my heart, like i said earlier on FUCK!!

Now, all i want her is to calm down and hopefully she realise what she done to me, i'm not asking an apology or anything, i just want her to now that i, in anyway trying my hardest to give what she love. I don't want to be left ignored like what has happen tonight. It has totally Fucked Up our night.

I'm to be blame of for this stupid decision, planned ahead, far ahead which now has gone for her. Yeah Thanks Roxy for ruining it and i would love to say to myself, that i'm totally an idiotic person!!!!

Part of me is missing

When something has be always there for me, that has always be the best but when it suddenly changes, even small changes could make my day goes worse.
I've been so close to my sayang everyday or you could say staying under one roof and that was the happiest moment that i got to wake up and off to bed saying and giving hugs and kisses to her but when the day comes where i have to sleep out away from her even for just the night, i know what happens next.
The absence of her by my side totally whipped me.

We would always have something to talk about, messing around that never bore us not even a single moment because we interacted very well now but when comes to be away we would have nothing to text only by calling we will be chattering for hours sometimes saying nothing but atleast we're listening to each others voices.
Honestly we just don't know how to text, its better to just call and talk which is more happening.

However, i want to make up every loss in this blog since the last blog updated by me.

Firstly, i would love to say happy 20th birthday darling. I've once again proposed you to be my girlfriend with a proved of a ring which you held and wore every moment.

Secondly, Happy 3rd monthsary Gorgeous, there's more to you than meets the eye. For every moment having you is the best hoping one day you could see i'm the ocean or the sea to make you realise that my love for you has no end. i'm trying to purifing the love we have to make you feel the best out of me. Iloveyoutodeath Nurain Afiza.

3rdly, Happy 4th monthsary, it was a perfect morning that moment, but then it changes a little because we argued, i'm sorry i said you make our monthsary worse, i really didn't mean it because it was my fault that make you feel uncomfortable and when i'm around others. Its true i may not realize my behavior but you noted it to me and that i have made changes towards that for us, especially for you. Everything changes when we were about to get off from the hospital and to proceed what have been plan for the day. We went for a trip to various places just to brighten up our monthsary by driven quater part of sabah. it was tiring but surely it is fun having you sitting next to me listen to all my silly jokes, watching you fall asleep. Thank you for the trips from beaufort - sipitang - tenom - keningau - banjaran crocker - kimanis - beaufort. Iloveyou every moment darling Nurain Afiza!!!

4thly, Even around you i would misses you more, nevermind about away from you, you'll understand how i misses you more!! Sometimes at your cribs, and hour or two not talking to you and minding my own business could make me crushed down looking for you and give you a hard hugs and warmth kisses and mentioning i misses you already.

Finally, The hardest moment of me is to watch us being away and lead us both to over sadness can imagined!! I hereby, declaring NURAIN AFIZA BT ABD LATIF is THEODORE JOHN's fully responsible for any wrong doing, i would slit myself just of her and for her. I promise to love you every moment and wishing one day we could and move to a higher stages in relationship where we always wanted, to seal us both forever with love, care, warmth and having the feeling stakes or drastically shoots up by then...

ILoveYouNowAndEver,

TheodoreLoveNurain